Aw, damn.
You know what I did?
I mistakenly put premium gas in this baby.
It hates expensive gas.
[Horn Honks]
Ohhh...oh...
I should've hit him.
He'd be dead now. No more worries.
I'll talk to him, dear.
I'll tell him to get a job
or go to college.
College? So he can thumb his diploma at me?
Dave never thumbed anything at anybody.
That's because he never went to college.
Besides, he's probably too stupid to get in.
Shhh! He'll hearyou.
I don't care! It's my house.
Besides, he doesn't speak English anyway.
I'm sure he'll find a job somewhere.
He couldn't find a job to save his life.
He's worthless, Evelyn.
I die of shame every time I see him.
Goddamn...
Shh!
Lazy freeloader.
[Honks Horn]
Hi, Alvin!
Lookwho's here!
Looks like the safety inspector.
Or a union organizer.
Duke, I thought you'd retired.
They won't let me retire.
Howdy, boys.
We could sign you up as an apprentice.
Like hell you can!
I'm only here for a visit,
but if I wanted to start over again,
I could pick up right where I left off.
How are you, Russell?
Hi, Ray. All right. How are you?
Pretty good.
Mind if I drive in a wedge?
All right.
Hey, how's your son?
He's fine. How 'bout yours?
I'm just tired of it, Evelyn.
I'm tired ofworrying about him.
Who'd ever hire a guy like that?
He's going to wind up a bum--
An Italian bum.
Well, you could use some help.
What ifyou gave him a job?
I don't want him selling used cars.
Why not?
It's good enough foryou.
Who says it's good enough for me?
You do.
Damn right it's good enough for me,
but I don't need any help.
He'd ruin me if I hired him,
a weirdo kid like that.
[Whistling]
Hey! No whistling!
You're supposed to be a shag boy, so shag.
If I wanted whistling, I'd get a bird.
How are you feeling?
Tired, Papa.
Exhausted?
Yeah.
Get used to it. It's going to be more of the same.
Let's go home.
I have to train.
The Italian race is next week.
[Horn Honks]
Pop, can I have this Saturday off?
Hell, no.
J ust this once, Papa.
The Italians are coming Saturday.
I don't care if the Second Coming's coming.
But I waited so long.
No!
N-o-double-O. No!
Uh-oh. You stay out of this.
Don't come in here with that. It's sold.
You said there was a 90-day guarantee.
Guarantee? What guarantee?
You gave me yourword.
Have you got it on paper?
There was no paper, but you gave me your word.
Word? I don't remember hearing any word.
Get this car off my lot!
We have to take it back.
Who are you?
We're poor, but we're honest.
All I want is a refund.
Refund?
Are you crazy?
Refund?
Easy. Easy. Easy, Ray.
Refund?
Refund.
Refund?
I 've ruined everything.
He needed a rest anyway,
and now he's getting it.
I 'm not going to the race.
I should be here when Papa wakes up.
Um...
did I ever show you this?
It's a passport.
It's quite cheap, you know.
A real bargain.
I carry this with me all the time.
Someday, there'll be a new girl at the A & P,
and when I cash a check,
she'll ask for identification,
and I'll take out my passport,
and I'll say,
" Here!"
Oh, Mama.
So you see,
I think you really should go.
I think you should come home...
singing...
with a trophy.
I thinkyou should do all those things while you can.
I'll win this one foryou, Mama.
Ladies andgentlemen,
welcome to today's Cinzano 1 00-mile road race.
Here they come to the starting line--
Team Cinzano, ladies and gentlemen!
Ti m ers, i f you are ready,
we' I l stand by for the start
of the Ci nzano 1 00.
Riders, ready!
Ti mers, ready!
The Cinzano 1 00 is underway, ladies and gentlemen.
The riders are starting off on a 1 00-mile journey.
Come on!
Hey!
Buon giorno!
Come 'sta?
Oggi e molto umido, non e vero?
Niento vero.
Grazie! Grazie!
Grazie!
Che tempo fara piovera!
Filare!
Bravo! Bravo!
I feel I i ke one of those dwarfs,
I i ke, when they thi nk that Snow White's dead.
Wel l, I guess you're a cutter again, huh?
J ust like the rest of us?
I guess so.
Hey, cheer up, Dave.
You still got the 500.
Thanks a lot.
No, I don't feel lucky to be alive.
I feel lucky I'm not dead.
There's a difference.
Oh! What happened to you?
Oh, it's nothing, Ma.
How do you feel, Dad?
" Dad"?
I'll tell you how I'm feeling, son.
I had nightmares all night
that every customer I ever had
came in to ask for a refund.
You were there handing out checks.
"One foryou, one foryou..."
I'm sorry I gave him back his money.
I really am.
Everybody cheats.
I just didn't know.
Well, now you know.
Where's your trophy?
Daddy!
What's the matter?
What are you crying for?
It's not like you lost your wallet.
I didn't want you to be this miserable.
A little bit's all I asked for.
Come on now.
Talk to him, Evelyn.
What are you doing?
Hi, Kathy.
What did you do to yourself?
Oh, I liked you better before.
What happened to your cornocello?
Now you look like everybody else.
I am everybody else.
I mean...
Listen, Kathy--
Catherina!
I feel terrible.
You sound funny.
Che cosa, Enrico?
Tell me.
Look...
Kathy, I...
My name is Dave Stohler.
I made all that other stuff up.
I was born in Bloomington.
I went to Bloomington high.
I was treasurer of the Latin Club--
Stop kidding around.
I'm not kidding around!
See...
I'm what you call a cutter.
Oh, and Napoli?
And the big family?
Well, it was a good act.
You...
You certainly fooled me.
You know what you are?
I got a clue.
I'll tell you what you are.
Oh, God!
You...
Dave.
Yes, Dad?
I cut the stone for this building.
You did?
Yeah. I was one fine stonecutter.
Mike's dad, Moocher's, Cyril's...
all of us.
Well, Cyril's dad...
never mind.
Thing of it was, I loved it.
I was young and slim and strong.
I was damn proud of mywork.
And the buildings went up.
When theywere finished, the damnedest thing happened.
It was like...
the buildings was too good for us.
Nobody told us that.
Just...
Just felt uncomfortable, that's all.
Even now, I...
I'd like to be able to stroll through the campus
and look at the limestone,
but I just feel out of place.
You guys still go swimming in the quarries?
Sure.
All you got to show
for my 20 years ofwork
is the holes we left behind.
I don't mind.
I do.
Cyril's dad says he took that college exam.
We both took it.
How did both of us do?
Well, I don't know.
One of us did O.K.
But neither...
of us...
Hell, I...
don't want to go to college, Dad!
To hell with them!
I'm proud ofbeing a cutter.
You're not a cutter.
I'm a cutter.
What, are you afraid?
Yeah.
A little bit.
And then there's the rest of the guys.
Well, you took the exam.
Did all right, didn't you?
Yes.
Well, that's...
That's good.
Well, your mom...
Your mom will be expecting us home.
Come on.
I'm supposed to ride this thing?
Well, that's the official issue.
You can't add or change anything.
Well, it's a piece of junk!
Hey, it's got a lot of personality to it.
It doesn't look that bad to me.
That's 'cause you don't have to ride it.
You don't have to ride.
We're not going to beg you.
We'll plead, but never beg.
The hell with it!
Get off, Cyril.
At least we got invited.
I'll just take it back.
You seem relieved, Mike.
Don't you think we can win anymore?
Why not?
Maybe those guys are better than us.
That's the first time you ever said that!
That's the first time I ever felt that.
All right.
Hello.
What are you doing here?
I'm leaving soon.
Where are you going?
I got a job in Chicago.
Moocher's dad got a job in Chicago.
He's, uh...
I'm going to Italy after all with my parents.
Great, Kath.
I wish you a nice trip.
You, too.
I'm not going anywhere.
I don't know about that.
Thankyou.
You're welcome.
Ifyou eat so much, how come you're small?
Oh, it's my metabolism.
I eat three times a day.
My metabolism eats five times a day.
Well, I go back to work tomorrow.
You won't watch us race?
He thought he might bring you bad luck.
Well, I just have work to do, that's all.
Besides, there might be another metabolism to feed here.
We might be a father?
No, I might be a father. Your mom might be a mother.
You might be a brother.
That way, I keep it all in the family.
I didn't think people your age--
The next word may be your last.
You must be very happy.
Do I have any choice?
You were going to give a pep talk.
They don't need pep.
I need pep.
Go on, give it to them.
Uh, we thought...
As long as you're out there,
you might as well tell them who you are.
Right.
Oh, wow!
 Oh, say, can you see 
 By the dawn's early light 
 What so proudly we hailed 
 At the twilight's last gleaming? 
Whose broad stripes and bright stars 
Through the perilous fight 
 O'er the ramparts we watched 
Were so gallantly streaming 
 And the rocket's red glare 
The bombs bursting in air 
 Gave proof through the night 
That our flag was still there 
 Oh, say, does that 
 Star-spangled banner 
Yet wave 
 O'er the land of the free 
 And the home of the brave 
Gentlemen, thankyou very much.
I want to point out three flags you'll have to obey.
First, the green flag means the race is on.
The green flag means you are racing.
The yellow flag means there's been an accident
or someone has a problem that will slow down the track.
Please follow your leader.
The third flag is the checkered flag.
This needs no explanation.
This is a 200-lap, 50-mile bicycle race.
It will consist of 33 4-man teams.
For the first year,
an out-of-town team has been invited to participate.
I'm sure they'll give their best effort.
The Cutters, ladies and gentlemen.
Any team members may exchange to another team member
whenever they feel exhausted or in need of help.
Gentlemen...
mount your Roadmaster bicycle.
[Cheering And Applause]
 I ndiana, our I ndiana 
 I ndiana, we're all foryou 
We will fight for the cream and crimson 
 And the glory of old I.U.  I.U.!
 Never daunted, we'll never falter 
 In the battle, we're tried and true 
 Oh, Indiana, our Indiana 
 Indiana, we're all foryou 
I.U.!
 Indiana, our Indiana 
 Indiana, we're all foryou 
We will fight for the cream and crimson 
 And the glory of old I.U.  I.U.!
 Never daunted, we'll never falter 
 In the battle, we're tried and true 
 Oh, Indiana, our Indiana 
 Indiana, we're all foryou 
I.U.!
 Indiana, we're all foryou 
I.U.!
They're on the starting line.
They're coming down! The green flag is up!
The Little 500 is underway!
And here they come, rounding the corner
for the completion of the first of 200 laps today.
So after 25 laps,
two ofthe perennial favorites
are up front--
The Sigma Tau Omega team and the Acacia team.
I should point out
what a remarkable job the Cutter team is doing.
They started in 34th position
and are moving up through the field.
Oh...
The Acacia team just signaled for an exchange.
The single rider is accelerating away,
getting a lead so the receiver
will not be behind when the pack comes by.
Beautiful exchange!
The other team is exchanging right behind them.
Sigma Tau Omega team.
Another team is moving in on the outside.
It's team 34, the Cutter team.
He is fighting hard to take the lead.
He has taken the lead!
Team 34 has succeeded
in taking the lead from the last position.
What an incredible effort by the leader of this race.
Com e on! You got hi m!
The Delta Chis
and the Acacia team.
The rider for the Cutters team--
Dave Stohler--
That's my boy!
is pulling ahead even further...
Pul I i ng ahead!
It's incredible what he 's...
Come on, Dave!
He 's turning in some terrific lap times here.
I don 't happen to have a stopwatch, but--
He won't last.
It's utterly amazing.
After 25 miles-- that's 1 00 laps, folks--
the rider for the Cutters is sti I l out front.
He has yet to come in for an exchange.
We're num ber one!
Someone's down. There's an accident.
I can't see who.
just a second.
It's Dave Stohler from the Cutter team.
He had a 3/4-lap lead.
I can 't see ifhe 's hurt.
He 's getting back on the bike,
but he 's obviously in agony.
Com e on, Dave!
N o way. H e wants off, m an.
That's the si gnal.
He's com i ng i n.
Here you go.
I don't want to race.
Get on the bi ke!
I t's ours now. I t's our race.
We got it.
Get going!
No one is going.
The other riders are holding the bike.
Get out there, Mike!
Get on the bike!
The little guy's riding!
- You O.K.? - What's the matter?
What happened?
As a result ofthat terrible exchange,
the Cutter team has dropped from the lead.
The Sigma Tau Omega team has regained the lead.
The Cutter team has fallen into second position.
Another team has passed the Cutter team.
The Cutters are in third place
and seem to be losing ground.
Wel l, Ev, he tri ed.
Even the announcer said he tried.
I t's al I over.
Hel p!
N ice try, kid.
The lead team hasjust completed 1 70 laps.
There are 30 laps remaining.
Sigma Tau Omega looks unbeatable.
Many things can happen, as we 've already seen.
Things can change like the wind.
Stay on th i s s i de.
Bri ng i t i n!
Go, you Cutter, go!
The Cutters now have a new man on the bike.
He 's doing a goodjob.
He has moved the Cutters into fourth position.
He might make a serious challenge for third position.
We 'll wait to see if this happens.
We' re not doi ng too bad.
This once again points out
the fact that this is a team effort.
One man may fall back, another may be exceptional...
We showed them.
Showed them what?
Come on, Mi ke! Bri ng it i n!
Come on!
Stohler is on the bike,
his teammates are taping his feet to the pedals.
This means he won't be able to exchange riders.
He must ride 1 5 laps by himself.
Pi ck i t up!
H e's back i n the race!
He has dropped from fourth into sixth position.
There are only 1 5 laps remaining.
Go, son! Go, dam n you!
Stay behi nd hi m ti I l the thi rd turn.
The Cutters, team number 34,
now in second place.
They have completed 1 98 laps.
1 98 laps!
Still leading, Sigma Tau Omega, team number 1.
And here comes your leader through turn number four.
Coming down to take the white flag!
One lap to go!
It's a duel between Sigma Tau Omega and Cutters,
teams number 1 and 34,
as they battle out through the last lap.
Teams number 1 and 34 battling neck-and-neck
as they come down the short stretch.
Half a lap to go.
They're going into turn number three.
Number 1, still leading.
34 coming up very close on the inside!
They're going for the checkered flag!
And 34 wins!
And now, thi s i s what you have been waiti ng for.
The wi nni ng team,
from Bloom i ngton, I ndiana,
the winner of the Little 500--
The Cutters!
Bye.
Pardon.
Do you know where is the Office of the Purser?
You must mean the Bursar's Office.
Uh...
oui, Bursar.
I was thinking of taking French,
but it's my first year.
Have you seen Le Tour de France?
No.
No? Mon dieu!
The French riders, they're the best!
Hiya, big shot!
Bonjour, Papa!
 We will fight for the cream and crimson 
 And the glory of old I. U.  I. U.!
 Never daunted, we'll never falter 
 I n the battle, we're tried and true 
 Oh, I ndiana, our Indiana 
 Indiana, we're all foryou 
I.U.!